I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My vagina is officially offended.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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