he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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