Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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