My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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