your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I got chris browned last night
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
