I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
