Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
