What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
