Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
