Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
