can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
There are leaves in my underwear?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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