fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
