I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
