if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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