i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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