Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
