I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
