so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Holy sore nipples Batman
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize