Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
