Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I party with great urgency now.
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