no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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