I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
