god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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