I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
