I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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