Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
