At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
