Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
