im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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