weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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