if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and you said cock pushups were impossible
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
