My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
