new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if only i could text you this smell
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize