hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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