Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm always down for nudity.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
