The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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