Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
