It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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