Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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