I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
