At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
