Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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