it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
PANTIES FOUND
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