You're so nebulous sometimes
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
