that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize