How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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