my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize