My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
