It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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