what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
