I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
