college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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