The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
birth control should be required to get into college
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
