I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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