You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What a dumb baby whore.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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