I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
