Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
