I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
