you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize