We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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