i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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