I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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