the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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