Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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