Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
