we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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