She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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