I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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