And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I didn't notice because vodka
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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